Challenges shift, they don’t disappear
By now you might have been able to create more of a routine with your toddler, and perhaps you’ve returned to work and are navigating child care on top of the demands of your job. Maybe you’ve been able to spend more time with the people around you, as things start to feel a bit more predictable. There is still teething, though, and nothing quite prepares you for a toddler tantrum or trying to run errands with a little runner. Sleep disruptions might have changed shape, but have not necessarily gone away.
Some people around you might assume you’re going through an easier stage now, but there are plenty of parents who find this age exhausting. The idea that postpartum ends after one year is a myth. This is still a time for emotional shifts, and for some people it’s when mental health challenges rear their head.
Mental health struggles such as anxiety, depression and even burnout are common well beyond a child’s first birthday. There may be an expectation to be “back to normal” at this point, but understanding that recovery is not a rigid one-year timeline is vital for seeking help and dismantling the guilt many parents feel.
The pressure to do it all "right"
Today’s image of parenting is filled with impossible standards. There’s an expectation that you will freely sacrifice your own needs for your family, make every moment meaningful, cook every meal from scratch, keep a clean house, excel at your career, practice self-care “properly,” and somehow document it all beautifully for others to see.
Most parents aren’t falling short because they’re failing — they’re trying to parent in conditions that make parenting extraordinarily difficult. We are not meant to raise children in isolation, without extended family, community or consistent support.
Social media can add another layer of pressure and guilt. Carefully curated snapshots of other families can make it seem like everyone else is coping effortlessly, while you’re the only one struggling to keep up. But the messy, exhausting realities of parenting rarely make it into the algorithm.
If you’ve been feeling guilty, self-critical or like you’re constantly falling short, it may help to remember this: the standard you’re measuring yourself against isn’t real.
Your wellbeing matters
As children become more independent, it can feel like you should finally have more breathing room. Yet parents often find themselves putting their own needs at the back of the line. It’s important to know that parental wellbeing supports child wellbeing.
If you've lost touch with old friends, stopped doing things you once enjoyed or feel disconnected from who you were before becoming a parent, it’s worth acknowledging. It is also a vital time to take an honest stock of your mental health. A persistently low mood, constant anxiety, irritability or exhaustion that doesn't improve with rest may be signs that you need support rather than to keep pushing through on your own.
Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders do not operate on a fixed 12-month schedule. In fact, parents across three years postpartum find that roughly one in four experience elevated depressive symptoms at some point, and for many those feelings actually worsen over time rather than settling.
For those who wean their little ones from breastfeeding, this can actually be a transition that worsens their mental health. While many parents experience relief and welcome increased bodily autonomy after their breastfeeding journey has ended, this moment can also bring a mixed bag of emotions. It’s not unheard of to experience a sense of loss and question your identity as a parent after your baby no longer depends on you for milk. There is also a temporary drop in hormones after you wean. Some parents experience worsening mental health, especially if they have previous experience with anxiety or low mood.
For partners
The toddler years can be challenging for all parents. You may be navigating the same impossible standards, the same social comparison, the same drift from friendships and former versions of yourself. If you’ve been running on autopilot, this may be a good moment to check in with yourself. Our [Services Finder] is fully available to support you, too.
Getting support
There isn't a point where parenting suddenly becomes easy or where support is no longer needed. Looking after yourself remains just as important now as it was in the early months, and asking for help is part of that. Support can look like counselling, talk therapy, peer connection, a medication review or simply having a provider take what you're describing seriously. Sometimes a single conversation is enough to help you understand what support is available and what might work for you.
There is a lot to celebrate after your baby turns one! But if things are feeling hard in between those joyful moments, consider what you might need to feel better. Our Service Finder can connect you with supports, tailored for parents of toddlers.
This article was developed using sourced educational content from Canadian Perinatal Mental Health Trainings (CPMHT), and informed by the collective knowledge and expertise of CPMHT professionals and Karen Clarke, BA, MSW, RSW, Doula (Open Book Doula, Counselling and Consulting Services).